Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
AFK's Law: It is forbidden to break any rules of the Internet. It is likewise forbidden to interrupt someone while singing. Punishment for these can be, though not limited to, subjection of the Almighty Finger.
El Nazgir's Law: Only I can own a beercrate. Punishment for this is to wear a super short miniskirt on Sundays (females only. for males, eternal servitude will do.)
Mendel's Law: If I give you something and you mess up on it, don't come crying to me. Punishment includes me giving you the silent treatment for as long as the situation matters.
Khono's Law: Women have to bathe at least twice a week. Pussy cheese is strictly prohibited. Punishment is....yeah, you know....
RT's Law: It is forbidden to Google Google. Too mindboggling.
Solar Dragon's Law: ALL STAFFERS MUST DIE!
Tennessee Ernie Ford's Law: If you are going to speak English, you had better do it in a way that does not piss off people severely. Failure will result in your subjection to my niggligations.
Yallow's Law: You actually have to care about whatever I am saying.
UnAnswers Law: Nobody cares about what Yallow says.
Me Again's Law: Do not dangle gummy bears in my face. It's just mean.