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No. Only noses can smell, but butts can hear and speak. Often, when discussing the applications of butts, buttrogists will use four main categories---

  1. communication, which contains buttspeak and buttaudition;
  2. cognition: the butt is a special organ in that it is able to compute complex equations, to analyze poetry using thousands of different theories of analysis, and to find glitches in google maps; all independent of the nervous system. It cannot love, however.
  3. colorication, the ability to change colors, eg, when the butt is slapped, it may turn purple. When the butt gets poopy, it turns brown. When the butt is smothered in green paint, it turns bright magenta. When the butt is dead, it turns white (presumably the work of necrophiliacs).
  4. penetration, OH FUCK YEAH I'D TOTALLY HIT THAT BUTT. The butt prefers to be penetrated with dildos, but occasionally with baseball bats and/or bats and/or baseballs. There are rumors that butts are occasionally penetrated with penii, but there is no evidence of this in any form of media. That would just be gross anyways.
  5. birth. Babies come out of butts. Exeptions: Caesarean section, when the baby is brought to the mother by a stork. Doctors then cut open the stork's abdomen and have a great feast on its innards.
  6. seppuku. Ritual disembowelment is most often preformed by telling the butt to leave. As he walks away he pulls out your anus, rectum, intestines, eyeballs, etc.
  7. Doctor time. Doctors want to feel up your butt and hump it. Need I say more?

I am worthless shit 04:39, August 22, 2011 (UTC)

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